I Wrote A Book, And That Terrifies Me
I’ve been a bit quiet on the blog lately, but that’s because all sorts of amazing and difficult things have been going on behind the scenes. For example …
I wrote a book, and that terrifies me.
Funny thing is, it’s not like this book writing thing snuck up on me. I first remember wanting to become an author when I was five years old and this particular book, A Wife’s Secret to Happiness: Receiving, Honoring, and Celebrating God’s Role for You in Your Marriage, has been in process since 2012. It’s taken countless hours of writing and tears over my computer screen and laughing to myself like a crazy person when writing at Starbucks.
So why the trepidation?
I’m sending my heart out to the world on sheets of bound paper.
I carried my son for 9 months. I’ve carried this book for almost 5 years.
So much of this book is me. Not just what I think or what I’ve read. Not even just what I believe about God’s promises to bless our lives and ways He wants to bless our marriages. Me. The things I’ve lived through and tons of mistakes I’ve made. I’ve watched my fingers typing away while thinking to myself “I can’t believe I’m putting that in here” more times than I like to think about. I’m sharing truth I’ve wrestled with, sometimes wrestled with through writing. The same truth that has since taken root in my heart so it sends blossoming fruit into every corner of my existence.
I’m going counterculture.
The stuff I’m writing about is not popular. I’ve told God this many times, when asking to change the topic of my assignment to something a bit sexier. Something you want to celebrate and shout from the rooftops with gusto and fireworks.
So of course the Lord used this book to teach me about submission.
About how it’s not the hated “S” word that I thought it was. How it’s not a man-made curse but a God-ordained blessing and it doesn’t silence a wife but gives her covering to share her voice as she’s tuning in to hear the Father. How submission is a way to endow a wife with Kingdom authority and God too, wants to break gender stereotypes and painted-on identities.
The whole book isn’t about this “S” word thing, but the content doesn’t get easier. It confronts our culture because aligning our actions and perspectives with Scripture often does that. As a dear friend put it, it’s “a beautifully challenging read” as we seek the Lord and act in response to our own convictions.
The challenging part is what terrifies me, because remember, I’m not just sharing something that’s counterculture. This thing I’m offering is so much of me. My heart inked out on paper with prayer and encouragement to talk with Jesus. A gift some people are going to hate and bash and call nasty names.
So why’d I do it? Sometimes I ask myself this question as I ponder my sanity. Why I’ve lived in seasons of limited sleep and missing fun parties as I pour through red-penned paper and re-devour scripture, seeking clarity from God.
I want to prove faithful.
Faithful with my growing gift of words—which, let’s be honest—is still in infant/toddler stage.
Faithful with the message God has entrusted me to encourage other wives. Shouting “me too!” from printed pages and Kindle screens to let you know that you’re not alone and God has good plans for you.
Faithful in what He’s called me to do. I ask Him to help protect the words from faulty thinking or poor grammar—I’m really bad with commas. To guard my heart and my marriage as I call wives out to advance against the enemy and kick his sneaky unwelcome butt out of our camps. Faithful to His words. His love. His grace. His strength. Knowing that anything good comes from Him, I so badly want to prove faithful. I long for His breath to whoosh through these chapters and brush your face so you know it may be my simple words but it’s HIM talking with you.
So I can’t help but do the thing that terrifies me.
Want to join the fun? LOL. But seriously, it’s worth it, I promise.
- I’d love your prayers. Prayers for me and for my marriage ’cause the enemy is already trying to mess with us. Prayers that the book will make it into the hands of everyone who would benefit from reading it and prayers that I’ll trust the Lord with that even if it ends up being a 5 year investment for 5 readers.
- Step out in the terrifying thing He’s calling you into. Seek counsel, ask with wisdom, and trust God enough to walk in wild obedience. Sensing His pleasure is the best thing ever.
P.S. If you think part of that terrifying faith-filled obedience may be uncovering the themes I talk about in A Wife’s Secret to Happiness, click here to learn how to pre-order.