Episode #89 Courageous Honesty with Guest Jennifer Dukes Lee – Noticing God

Hey friends, it's Jen, and I'm so excited to introduce you to our podcast guest today, the incredible Jennifer Dukes Lee. And she has generously offered a book giveaway of a copy of her latest book, “Stuff I'd Only Tell God.” I'll tell you how to enter at the episode, but we have so much ground to cover, and I did my very best to edit out my interview questions to maximize your time together. And so I'm going to hand it over to her. Jennifer, will you introduce yourself and take it away?

Wow! Thanks for having me, my name is Jennifer Dukes Lee and I actually live on a farm in Northwest Iowa. We are growing lots of crops here. We have corn and soybeans. We also have a barn full of pigs and we also raised on this farm. two girls. We raised two human beings and they're now out of the nest. So we've entered that new stage of empty nesterhood.

And vocationally, I am an editor for Bethany House Publishers, which is a publishing house in Minnesota. And I'm also an author. And as a speaker, my latest book is "Stuff I'd Only Tell God," and it is a guided journal of courageous honesty, obsessive truth telling, and beautifully ruthless self-discovery. It's unlike any other book I've written because honestly, it's like it's only half written, right? Because the other half is you engaging with the questions and the prompts and deciding, yeah, I'm going to go on this journey of courageous honesty.

I think that it's so important to write down what we're feeling, what we're experiencing, what our fears are, what our hurts are, what our sins are, like taking all that before God and saying, look, can you do something with this? Because I can't.

I have been the person who didn't want to tell my stuff to God.

And I remember a moment in particular, it was a retreat about 20 years ago. A pastor stood up front and he had asked us to write down all of our burdens, our sins, our hang-ups and everything on these little tiny pieces of paper. I'm like, there is not enough room on this tiny little piece of paper for me to write down everything that I need to give to God. I need like one of those big butcher rolls of paper. But when it came down to it, I literally wouldn't write some things down. It's like, I didn't want to see them on the paper. It was all about me not wanting to get honest before God.

My journey toward honesty with God and honesty with myself has really led me to a saving faith and beyond that, an intimacy with God that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

There is a therapeutic nature to writing things down. And we see it modeled in scripture when you open to the very middle of your Bible, into the Psalms, you're basically reading David's diary. These are his honest journal entries that we cling to now in a modern age. They give us a language to speak to God, honestly. And that's really what I'm encouraging people to do when they journal. It's so important to me to take a look at these ancient words and see that they are not only evidence of God's presence in the lives of those people, but in our presence as well.

A story that I wanted to share with you and your listeners today is the story of Thomas. You know, he's a great question asker, but that's not the way he was framed when I was growing up. Thomas in my Sunday school years was framed as a doubter, doubting Thomas. And so I grew up thinking that asking any kind of question to the Lord was shameful, maybe even sinful. And so, as I grew into adulthood, I struggled with real doubt, but felt unworthy to come before God with my questions about him. Like, God, if you're there, like, can I say that? Can I say, God, I'm not sure if I really believe in you. Being that kind of honest felt really, really scary to me. But then. Then I read the Bible. In John 20, it's after Jesus has been resurrected and he'd already appeared to all of the other disciples, but Thomas wasn't there at the time.

And so Thomas says to his buddies, he's like, look. Unless I can see, I'm not going to believe. And so, a week later, all the disciples are in that same house again and this time, Thomas was there. Good news. And the doors were locked, and Jesus comes in. And he stands among them and he's like, peace be with you. Then he says to Thomas, particularly calling him out, he says,

“Put your finger here. See my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” (John 20:27)

And I think before when I've read stop doubting and believe, it sounded like a scolding, like, Thomas, come on. But what I see now is Jesus saying with deep compassion, looking Thomas in the eye saying, Buddy, stop doubting, believe I'm right here. So much so that he allows him to put his fingers in his hands and his side. What a beautiful picture of the way that Jesus engages us in our questions.

That was profound for me. Suddenly it opened up a door to being able to have a constant ongoing conversation with Jesus. To where I could bring him every doubt, every fear, every concern, every worry, every wondering. And he didn't push me away.

In the study Bible , there were words in there that said, Silent doubts rarely find answers. I'll never forget it. It was just in the study notes. If I keep my doubts silent, I'm not going to find any answers. So If I've got a doubt, if I have something I'm wondering about, guess what? It is safe and good and right to take it to Jesus. He sees us. He saw Thomas in that room, and he sees you, and he sees me.

So the question that I am going to recommend that you go before God with, is from Thomas. And happens in John 14:5, and Thomas says to Jesus,

Lord, we don't know where you are going. So how can we know the way?

And it's so cool how Jesus responds. He answers, “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6a). We don't get I am the way in the truth, in the life in the Bible without the one question Thomas was brave enough to ask.

That is the power of questioning. And so my encouragement is to ask what Thomas asked. To say,

Jesus, how can I know the way?

How can I know the way in my marriage? How can I know the way in my parenting? How can I know the way in my friendships? How can I know the way in where I'm supposed to live? How can I know the way in, whatever you have before me? I'm so confused, God. How can I know the way?

And stick around to listen to the compassion, kindness, and gentle answers that the Lord gives to you.

Okay. I am so encouraged. And I know you are too. There are links here in the show notes to connect with Jennifer and to find her book online. And you can enter to win a copy of “Stuff I'd Only Tell God” by subscribing to my email list right here. And you'll also receive a free download of my journaling pages that you can use with each Good God Talks podcast episode.

Jennifer offered us such a powerful question: God, how can I know the way?

I encourage you, ask God that question and hear what He would share with you.

Have a good talk.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

Giveaway:

Subscribe to Jen's email list (and get free journaling pages by doing so)

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