Episode #69 Modeling Making Mistakes – Seed Sowing Summer

Hey friend, I'm Jen, and thanks for taking these few minutes with me to have an uncommon conversation with God in your everyday life moment today. We're talking today about modeling making mistakes for our kids, and this is something that I have often struggled with as a parent, because I hate that I make mistakes with my kids.

When Jared and I first got married, which was now 14 years ago, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to ever have kids. Not because I didn't like them, but because I was terrified of messing them up. Thankfully, God started showing me how that was actually motivated by fear. I thought my imperfections, my limitations and my mistakes could overwhelm and overtake God's goodness. That I was stronger than him, which was not true.

But he's also been showing me as our now two boys continue to grow, that one of the greatest gifts that I can give to my kids is in modeling what happens when we make mistakes.

The question I've been thinking about and that I'm posing to you as we start this conversation with God today is, what if your mistakes can actually be stepping stones toward growth and connection between you and your kids, and between your kids and God?

Our boys are now ages five and eight, so I've had innumerable opportunities to learn from mistakes and to apologize to them over the years. But one of the first lessons that I got to learn was the power of getting down on my kids' level, looking them in the eyes and telling them, "I'm so sorry, mommy made a mistake here. Will you forgive me?"

When I think about even my adult relationships and friendships, I know the sincerity of that friendship if we're able to make it past a difficult thing. If we're able to navigate through an area of forgiveness being needed and forgiveness being offered, the relationship is fortified. I have experienced that with my kids as well, and I have found that it's so impactful for them to recognize that not only do they have times when they need to apologize, but mom and dad do too. That we also make mistakes. And we don't need to shrink away or withdraw when we make mistakes. We don't need to be so concerned about getting something wrong that we don't try, or we hesitate from taking good risks, but we can try things and fail. We can go through life and make mistakes and call them out, recognize them, apologize for times where we get things wrong, and move forward closer together.

I even was thinking about this in the context of my relationship with God. Even as a child, I thought that if I messed up toward the Lord, if I sinned, if I didn't do something I ought to do, I thought that meant that God really just didn't want to see me for a while. I needed to prove myself, or I needed to earn my way back into his good graces for him to want to spend time with me again. And that's not true of God. And part of how I can demonstrate to my kids that that's not true is by how we handle mistakes as a family. By how we give forgiveness and how we ask for forgiveness and how we draw closer to each other. We don't push each other away when we're navigating those difficult things.

Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

And that's true of me, and the earlier my kids can understand that about me, the better it will be for our relationship long term.

Because the older they get, the more my kids are going to see and experience my faults. I want to model to them what it's like to be someone who falls short of the glory of God and relies on God's grace and draws near confidently to receive mercy and help when I am in need.

In Colossians 3, it talks about this some and I'll read for us verses 12 through 13. It says,

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

We get to bear with one another. As parents, we get to model for our kids what it means to recognize that we've missed the mark. That's what sin is, missing the mark. And we get to repent. We get to think again and turn back around. I think about that description of repentance often when I'm messing up with my kids because not only does that happen on a regular basis, but usually I recognize it when I turned the wrong way.

They're doing something and it pushed the right button, or it pushed the right sequence of buttons and I snap at them, and I turn around to go do something else. And it's in that moment that I realize, I shouldn't have responded that way. My tone came out differently than I had intended. My response wasn't proportionate, or it wasn't compassionate or humble or with patience. And so, I repent. I turn back around, which oftentimes means me physically turning back around, I get on my kids' level, and I ask for forgiveness because I missed the mark here. I want to be the greatest model for my kids about what happens when we mess up and how we can respond with humility and compassion. About how we can bear with one another in love. And not just when I forgive them, but also when I need them to forgive me too.

As we're sowing seeds this summer, talk with God about what it would look like for you to invest these types of seeds. What it would be to model making mistakes and what that harvest could be that you're aiming for. Here's our question for God today.

God, how can I model a healthy approach to what happens when we make mistakes?

Have a good talk.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

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