Episode #105 Kick these Words Out of Your Christian Vocabulary (they’re not what you think) – Reconstructing Faith

Hi friends, welcome to Good God Talks, where we engage in these few minutes of uncommon conversations with God in our everyday life moments. I'm so excited to be talking with you as we're walking through this series on reconstructing faith and today, we're talking real quickly about a faith vocabulary that doesn't need the words should or ought to.
Now, I'm a writer. I'm a communicator. I love being very intentional with words and especially when we're helping others in their walk with God, I am of the strong opinion that “should” and “ought to’s” are rarely helpful. I would even go as far as to say almost never helpful.

I was really good at identifying ways that I was messing up, or dropping the ball, or not living up to my potential, or not living up to what I thought God wanted me to do. And I put a lot of performative responsibilities on my own shoulders. I wanted to live up to who I thought God required that I be.

And my motivators were usually based on outward performance and outward appearance. Instead of looking at how I could receive in my heart and spirit what I needed to actually walk out the life that God invited me into. When I would learn of areas of my own mistakes, my default response would tend towards negativity toward myself. I would try and push myself harder. I would try and work up what I thought I should have had to be the kind of person I thought I should be, again, there's that word. I would try and look like I thought I was supposed to look, to be like what I thought I should be, instead of approaching it with curiosity.

And that's the invitation that I believe God is offering to us today. When we see areas where we might feel—Oh, I should want to read my Bible more. I ought to pray about that. I should have more patience with my children. I ought to want to go to church. I should know more than I do about that area. I should be a stronger believer by now. I ought to have more faith.—any of these areas, my encouragement for you is to step back and instead of feeling like you need to beat yourself up and do better and try harder and figure out a way to make things work. My encouragement is to slow down and approach that area with compassionate curiosity.

Why don't you want to do that thing?
Why haven't you gone there?
Why is that still a struggle for you?

And these are not questions to try and put labels or judgment or critiques on your performance. There are root causes that are contributing to how we live our lives. I wonder what those root causes are that are limiting you from walking in the fullness of what God has for you.

Now, we're all constantly being transformed by God. There are areas in my life that I don't even know about yet, where I am walking in less freedom and fullness and wholeness than what God offers me. But as we continue to walk those out, the greatest growth comes not from trying to put on the outward appearance or the outward activity we think we ought to have, but instead ask God to transform our loves, to form us in our spirits so that the byproduct that comes out is in line with the fruit of his spirit.

The Bible is full of passages that speak to how man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart, and I'm going to read just a few of those for us here.

In first Samuel 16, Samuel is going to appoint the next king of Israel and God tells him,

“—do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

In Proverbs 21:2, it says,

“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.” (Proverbs 21:2)

In Psalm 51:10, it says,

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)

And so we're going to talk with God today about any “should” or “ought to’s.” Any place where we are putting external requirements on how we show up or our activity. And if those motivators are coming from places that are less than what He has for us.

Where we can feel a pressure to perform and to do more for God, oftentimes the invitation is to slow down and receive more from God. We get to ditch the “should” and receive from God the things that He wants to deposit in our hearts, that they would grow and produce fruit in our lives.

God looks at the heart, and so as his people, we can be those who look at our hearts too, and ask for God, not just to help us with the external things that come with being a follower, but to help us with the internal workings, the motivators, and the needs, and the desires, and the dreams that get to be in our heart, that we can then live from that overflow.

So here's our question for today.

God, where am I motivated by “shoulds” or “ought to’s”? And what do you want to do in my heart regarding that area?

Have a good talk.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

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