In my defense, "normal" wasn't a bad thing. But if I stayed in that place of wishing and striving to get things back to how they used to be, I'd miss out on today.
I'm a big advocate for creating your own family traditions—even as a pre-kids family of two! Jared and I married in September 2008, which meant the holiday season beckoned right around the corner from our autumn wedding day. At that point, we still lived in California, a 30-minute drive from my parent’s house and much of my extended family. His grandma also lived in close proximity, and his parents were a day’s drive away in Oregon. We love our families and have many fond memories of holiday celebrations together, that December we had a choice to make about our inaugural Christmas holiday. We decided to celebrate as a family. Just the two of us.
Jared and I drifted apart in the months after Dillon was born. It wasn't a subtle drifting, like rowboats that slipped their knots and meandered off to sea in the quiet of night. We saw it. Felt it. Watched it happen. Each of us in a boat without paddles, our cupped hands pawing furiously at the water. Calling out with loud voices until exhaustion took over. Our commitment to one another and to our marriage didn't waiver. But our connection did.
I think it happened somewhere around the time of our son's birth. Or maybe during his transition from milk to solid foods, or one daycare to another. Perhaps sometime the first season ... or second phase ... of job changes and promotions. Or ministry growth and business opportunities.Maybe in the midst of never-ending home projects. Somewhere along the way, I flipped on the switch for my marriage autopilot and our trajectory shifted.
I spent the early morning hours today, rocking in the glider in my son's room, watching the sunrise peak through his window and illuminate the bookshelves mounted on his wall. As we rocked, snuggled together and nursing our respective morning drinks *pun intended*, God started talking with me about my book selection.
A PERFECT MARRIAGE is when two imperfect people come together and commit to making their version of a perfect life. Marriage in all of its beauty, glory, and awesomeness is unfortunately gonna forever have flaws; your marriage, my marriage, and every other marriage that graces this land. To any person that is married and beyond the fog laden and angel graced honeymoon stage, I am sure this is no news to you. For those of you who are not married, this might be a newsflash. Let me give you another.
Considering this prompt for Five Minute Friday I began to consider all the becauses in life. The ripple effects we don't enjoy or negative consequences we didn't see coming. But the fruition of cause-and-effect happens because of good things too. Wonderful ... incredible ... unimaginable things.