Well … The title says it all.
I remember this moment riding the bus to elementary school. I was observing some of the older girls, 8th graders to my junior 2nd grade. These girls had it all together, pretending to cough so they could sneak candy or gum into their mouths—a serious offense on the school bus—but they weren’t afraid. To this day, I remember that moment, and the thought that I would never be that big. They had it all together.
Eighth grade came and went, as did high school and (thankfully) my most awkward phases. But still, I sought this illusive time when I would have it all together. Knowing what to expect and how to respond in the blink of an eye. I transitioned professionally, and even with my promotions and increased responsibilities, I still felt lost. How do they know what to do? Did executives learn this stuff in school or some class I just missed out on?
And again, these same questions, sometimes asked more tearfully as I learn to be a wife. How did these other women figure it all out? What am I missing? Still today, these questions stay by my side, like a jangling charm bracelet to remind me of all the ways I don’t have a clue. How to grow my blog into the authentic online presence I envision. How to best care for this baby growing in my belly and what the heck I’m going to do/need/want/buy for when it comes out. How to do it all, be it all, have it all.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
No matter how much I research or pray, independent of classes taken, clubs joined or life experience gained, most things are beyond my understanding. And for now, I’m trying to be okay with that. Here’s what I’ve learned:
No one really knows what they’re doing.
It’s true. Picture the most outstanding people you know and I guarantee they face circumstances in life that stretch them beyond their understanding. As long as we’re growing, we’re going to face circumstances where the only weapon in our arsenal is a big sign that says NO FREAKIN’ CLUE.
How to handle it: Take a breath. If no one has it altogether, you’re in pretty great company. And the human race lives on, businesses grow, people flourish, and we all learn from our mistakes.
God likes it when I rely on Him.
If I knew where we were going, I probably wouldn’t talk with God very often. I’d be too busy devising shortcuts and figuring out the most enjoyable way to get to my final destination, or changing the end game altogether. God likes it when I live by faith. In days like today when it’d be great (hear that God, sooo great!) to know just a few more answers for my life, I remind myself of all the amazing ways God has blessed me on paths I never saw coming and great choices I would have avoided if given my own way.
How to handle it: Pray. Don’t carry your responsibilities (or failures) around like heavy burdens. Entrust them to Jesus and follow His leading.
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
Shake it off.
We’ll make mistakes. I’ll learn things today that would have been incredibly helpful to know yesterday or last month, but still, I’ll learn them. Some experiences will be unpleasant, even downright painful. And that’s okay too.
How to handle it: shake it off and move forward.
Some years ago I watched a family entering a commercial building. As the three-year-old son aimed for the doorway, he became distracted and walked squarely into the metal door jamb. Hard. I expected waterworks but his dad knew better—likely from many of these same experiences.
“Shake it off, son.”
The boy literally wobbled his whole body and kept on walking. The cutest thing ever and I’ve never forgotten.
Sometimes we need to shake it off. Do your very best to do what you can, and leave the rest up to God.
But what do I know. I don’t know what I’m doing. 🙂
